I almost missed this! Thank you to Dawn from Tales from the Motherland for the January 31st extension. The end of the year brought a ton of chaos for me. I was let go from my job of 4 years. It was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing for fresh perspective but a curse for the financial worry that came with the loss. 4 years was gone in an instant, igniting every job related insecurity I’ve had bottled up. October to December brought two months of soul searching, bad temp jobs, and finally a new job to settle into. January has been the light at the end of the tunnel so I am happy to be able to share positivity with the blogosphere. Please visit Tales from the Motherland to have a look at Dawn’s entry in this beautiful movement and use the instructions in her entry to write your own. Without further ado, please enjoy my list.
- Family – they are the foundation for everything.
- My dog.
- A clean house. Marie Kondo isn’t lying, clutter makes you crazy but maybe you don’t have to thank your things.
- Clean water to drink, shower, and cook with.
- A warm bed filled with love and comfort.
- FaceTime/Snapchat/FB to keep in touch with my parents and family out of state.
- My fiancée.
- My education – for success and for expression.
- A job that appreciates and wants to invest in me.
- My cell phone.
- A good sale at Old Navy.
- Professional Wrestling.
- Nerd culture.
- Comic-Cons and soon to be Wrestle-Cons.
- Friends, both digital and lifelong.
- My imagination.
- My DVR.
- A steady TV program line up that I love.
- Time well spent in good company or alone.
- Public transportation.
- My anxiety – It’s a weird perspective but it’s brought a lot of positivity to light and forced me to highlight the /good/ in everything.
- Being able to legally marry the love of my life.
- Cheap rent.
- All the self-help outlets I found this year.
- Being able to explore downtown Manhattan.
- Video games with good stories.
- My Fitbit versa forcing me to walk more.
- Having my parents’ home in Pennsylvania to escape to.
- My growing knowledge of technology.
- Good people to learn from.
- A roof over my head to shield me from the elements and keep me out of danger.
- My childhood on 61st.
- Working in retail this year and remembering the perks of making friends.
- Freedom of speech and expression – it’s a gift, believe it or not.
- The ability to freely think and the encouragement to do so.
- The news.
- The DARE book.
- The places I’ve traveled to.
- The places I will travel to.
- Boston Gay Pride every year.
- A good relationship with my mother.
- Sweet and savory foods, can’t choose one.
- My struggles.
- Being able to make this within the deadline and join a very talented group of bloggers.
This is the first year I’ve made 50 within the 15 minute timer so I’m very proud of that. Shutting myself up and keeping it simple has always been a struggle but I’m glad I did!
My writing has been a never ending journey of stops and starts. Some months, I’m full of muse and ready to share my vision and myself with the world. Whereas other months, I am drowned in the voices of opinions, the crushing stress of navigating adult life, and general life happenings that make it feel impossible to carry out this passion I love on such a precise schedule. I have started over many times, so I am not going to sit and promise consistency any longer. However, I will promise quality over quantity in my posts and hope that my vision is put forth honestly and sincerely. Just like anything else in life, my writing is ever changing. Topics, style, and most of all purpose have evolved since 2014 when I embarked on this blogging journey.
Tales from the Anxiety Ridden began as a coping mechanism. My parents retiring and leaving New York City was a hard transition. I was scared, angry and confused about not seeing them daily and being on my own for the first time. I have always thrived on routine so being thrusted into this new world was hard. Change is hard for anybody but with somebody with anxiety like mine, it felt impossible. Anxiety has always been something I struggled with but this felt like a hurdle I couldn’t jump over. Writing has always been my easiest form of expression so I created this blog space in hopes that sharing my feelings with like minds and reading others struggles would help me feel not so alone.
Fast forward to 2019, I am a few months shy of my wedding, I was fired from a job that I hated but found a job I could really see myself in long term. Anxiety is bearable (thanks to a lot of soul searching and research) and I feel like a person who could manage day-to-day life. While I feel “healed”, I am not naïve to the fact that it could all change on the flip of a dime. However, I am going to spend every second given to me celebrating any small victories that come my way. The intention of this forum is no longer singular to the betterment of myself. For me, it is important to “pay-it-forward” in a society that can be so self-driven. I hope to share my story as it continues growing and thriving and be able to help others along the way.
I’m here starting over again, but I’m optimistic that setting a purpose and a goal will provide the quality of content I’ve always wanted to produce rather than the quantity of content that feels appropriate. Welcome to Tales from the Anxiety Ridden, almost 30 years of experience in navigating my own mind, swimming in my own gene pool of mental health short comings but I am more than that. This is my story and I cannot wait to hear yours.