The schedule is shot to hell but here we are; the night before the whole reason for all of this to begin with. I am roughly two hours away from my third decade and I have to say I’m not feeling as overwhelmed as I thought I would have. Being bathed in the love of my fiancee, family, friends and coworkers makes sliding into my 30th trip around the sun not so bad after all.
In the spirit of prompts, I’ve decided to write a recap of my 20s. I want to sum it all up, be thankful for what I learned and take the lessons learned into the next 10 years and beyond.
Previously on this episode of my life… my 20s,
I survived, it’s hard to believe it. It felt impossible but I am looking into the 3rd decade of my life and it feels pretty goddamn good but it’s hard not to reflect. The last few years have been about trying to be thankful for every moment and this is no different. Despite, it all I came out with wisdom, lots of hindsight, and general life hacks that have kept me alive.
The early years of my 20s were a goddamn mess. I didn’t know much about financial stability, what made a good job, how to act in an office setting, or even in life as a whole. I was slowly falling in love all the while trying to navigate who the hell I was at the same time. It was like trying to tap my head and rub my stomach, it took awhile to teach my brain to multi task but somehow I did that.
By 25, I managed to start to entertain the idea of multitasking. I found a stable job that would carry me into the next phase of my life and I was in love. She was a wild tornado that sweeped me off of my feet; made my question my every thought, made me want to find answers that made sense to me and not just what was told me, and made me want to better. By 25 she became an anchor to me around the wild seas that would be not just my life but what would become ours together.
26 brought me the shock of my life. No matter how many times I was told it was going to happen, nothing would ever prepare me for my parent’s retirement. It would be my first time on my own. It felt like a second puberty and I was shook as hell. My helicopter parents meant well but never in my life had I wished for precursed indepdence. I was a fish out of water trying to navigate my life and what it would be like for me without the watchful eye of my parents. My parents left in September, I spent maybe eight months on my own before she moved in. My girlfriend decided to take the step to be with me every single day and every night. She wasn’t thrilled with the neighborhood, still isn’t but she took a chance. For that, I’ll always be thankful. I became we, which brought us to the biggest step yet.
27 years old, I was standing in front of a frosted Cinderella’s Castle with a small crowd looking on as she asked me to be her wife. Never in my life did I imagine we’d get to that point. Our beginnings were rocky but all of the drama and immaturity came with a pay off. She wanted me to be her wife and I wanted her to be mine. We came home from Disney World that Christmas week engaged. It was now our time.
28-29 years were all about preparation, building and rebuilding. I came into a world of crippling anxiety. Self-discovery, a not kind job position were the recipe to finally bring what had always been there front and center. I became physically and mentally exhausted. October 2019, I was fired again; right in the middle of wedding planning, maintaining a home, and trying to provide for my family. I was a spiraling mess but like always I somehow managed to pull myself together. January of 2019 gave me a job and a perspective. I finally found a place where I could make money and learn about the possibility of a career. The beginning of 2019 finished my 20s with a big high. I feel settled, I feel ready, and I feel excited.
I was terrified to turn 30. It feels so final to my life as a young person but 30 also feels like a new beginning to what’s to come. Dreams don’t feel so far away anymore, I’m getting married, we’re planning for kids, and we figuring it all out together. While aging sucks, it’s a privilege denied to many and I think I’m going to lean into the wisdom and the new outlook and run with it.
Thank you 2nd decade. For the laughs, for the tears, and for the lessons; I promise I’ll use it all wisely into the next 10 years to come.