The year of 2016 has brought a lot of growth and changes for me. The evolution of my relationship with my Mother is easily one of the highlights of this year so I’ve decided to write a piece to simply say how right she is and pay tribute to the iron horse that is my Mom. Through the eyes of a child a lot of things can have a skewed view and I’m guilty of saying and doing a lot of things that I probably had no business saying or no idea about. However, as an almost-woman (I say almost because let’s face it, the Peter Pan in me is so real sometimes) I’m starting to see all the elements I gave my Mom shit for all ended up being necessary elements to preserving her sanity and the prevention of a very long jail sentence.
- Those magical 30-60 minutes of napping/Netflix/talking on the phone before cooking a meal for herself and a family.
As a kid you always tend to think you’re the most important one in the room. I need this, I want to talk about this, why can’t we do this right now? I used to give her so much shit both to her face and not about taking a few minutes to herself to wind down before she kicked into Mom mode after a day at work. Now, as someone who’s running her own household, I have learned to cherish this time slot. I’m lucky or my sanity is lucky that most of the time my workaholic girlfriend doesn’t come home until 6:30-7pm so I am able to get this time to unwind from the unruly commute and the work day. I never realized how important it was until I started to ache for it myself. Sometimes you just need that me time to recharge and reboot and take on the next part of your identity.
- Taking care of yourself and a partner.
Learning to take care of myself has been quite an adventure but learning to take care of myself and a partner has given me a new found respect for my Mother. While my girlfriend has wonderful qualities and she is a very loving and devoted being, I have found myself with a very scary realization that just because I’m gay on paper doesn’t make me the exception to the rule of being a girl who ends up courting a person who has a lot of similarities to my father. Dealing with these traits as a live in girlfriend has proven to me that my Mother is a lot stronger than I ever gave her credit for. Through the eyes of a child, my old man was a God. Hell even at 27, he is still a God amongst men but as a woman I understand that it can be a daunting job to preserve not only yourself but also a significant other. As a kid, I used to give my Mom such crap for not doing things at light speed for my Father or sometimes making him do things himself. You realize after a certain age especially as a Daddy’s girl that your Father is absolutely Superman but your Mother is the Wonder Woman holding his head above water. Every relationship is like a well-oiled machine and it takes two to keep things moving along. It’s a hard lesson to learn but a humbling realization to come by.
- Cleaning with a full time job is next to impossible.
Being gone for 12 hours out of every day and still attempting to make sure the dust bunnies don’t take over the house has proven itself to be impossible. I always got pissed when my Mom would spend long Saturdays just cleaning the house from top to bottom. Now, I get why she spent all Saturdays (most of the time) locked in the house because in my own experience I’m finding every excuse not to leave the house on weekends so I can do just that.
The list is short but I’m sure will grow as time goes on. These epiphanies by no means make the master chief of running a home or even my own life but it’s a short homage to the woman who raised me. I’ll close with, you were right. You’ll probably be right a lot more along the way I look forward to that as time passes. I’m so grateful that with each day our bond grows even stronger than before. It’s refreshing to have a view of you from a woman’s perspective and not see your world from a child’s eyes.
Happy Mother’s Day Mama!