As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, I use this blog as a form of personal therapy. Writing has always been a source of release for me and a way to get out the words I can’t form to others. A few months ago, I read a piece written by Mara Wilson. She spoke about the questions her younger self had growing up and answered them in a very cryptic form as her adult self today. It was a reflection that fascinated me. I can remember being a confused teenager and wondering how my older self would end up so I’ve decided to give it a try for my own personal reflection. The questions will remain as cryptic as hers so if the piece is mildly confusing, it’s meant to be. This is something I’ve wanted to try and my hope is that the exercise is easy to relate to enough for my readers to try one day should the same should curiosity strike them. Here is a link to the post, Mara wrote about herself: http://marawilsonwritesstuff.com/answers-for-my-younger-self/
Answers for my younger self
Congratulations! You’ve made it to 25 and you’re turning 26. If you survive the week you will have lived 26 years and despite what you’ve gone through, they have been awesome. I know you have a few questions but I’m only allowing 20 in the spirit of one of your favorite games “20 questions”. You can ask anything, but remember to make it count!
1) Yes, he does. He is sober for over ten years. A few bumps and bruises on the way but nothing that has been life-altering. He is more focused than ever on a better life for himself.
2) You do. You find one off of the internet like the first two except this one sticks. You’ve been with her for four years and you haven’t been happier with anyone in your life. Go you! The awkward is over!
3) Unfortunately not, but this isn’t your doing. Life just gets in the way.
4) Not really, but you prefer it that way. The few you have are like family so it is a nice blend for you.
5) No. You realize that college just wasn’t your thing and the taste of money is a bit sweeter than following that specific passion. You don’t give up on writing though. You continue your journey with role-playing and you have a super cool blog! 33 followers may not feel like much but this is the most active you’ve ever been.
6) It does, you’re way less awkward now and have more in common with people your age. However, you’re still as weird as it gets in the best possible way.
7) Yes, but you are growing up and realizing that sometimes you have to live and let live.
8) You do, but you find yourself more attracted to physical appearances. You can only assume not all guys are like your ex but after your experience with him and your new found love in a female, you find it hard to believe you’ll ever be with the male species again.
9) You work as an Office Service Coordinator. Confusing, I know but it is the most challenging and versatile job you’ve ever had. You grew up a lot from it and even though it drives you nuts, you have never appreciated working somewhere as much as you do for this office.
10) Yes, but you’re still scared to buy your own car or drive one alone.
11) No, but it doesn’t bother you. The people you once idolized end up becoming people so far from who you want to be. You remember them fondly but take the loss with dignity and grace. You figure out you don’t need their approval to fit in.
12) HAHA, as much as you fight this, you do. Some of it is a pain in the ass. You wish you were more functioning. Your anxiety sometimes consumes you but the tough exterior and aggressive behavior Dad instilled in you always wins out. It’s a 50/50 split but you also do a lot of positive stuff like her as well! Be proud because it isn’t all that bad.
13) Best of friends. No one will ever know you like her.
14) You were 18 and a bed. Thank God, a bed.
15) Unfortunately, Gram and Pop both are gone. You take these losses harder than you’ll ever admit. Nana and you remain estranged. Your loyalty is too strong to let yourself get close to her.
16) Despite what you think, yes they are. You still think that things will go bad but they disprove your theories every year. It is frustrating sometimes for you but mostly amazing.
17) Nothing major. It is something you do for a little over a year. It doesn’t kill you, if anything it makes you realize you weren’t missing much.
18) Occasionally, but it hasn’t been the same since you moved.
19) You did move, to the other side of the neighborhood. You hated it at first and part of you still does but the quiet versus the noise off of Elliot is so needed. The block will always be your favorite part of your youth but you learn to let it go and be a memory after a while.
20) Terrifying, but you handle yourself well. You enjoy challenges and despite your incessant fear of change, you survive each change in your life like a champion. You have a lot to proud of. No I do not have a big ego; I just can safely tell you that it always ends up okay, no matter what. Mom was right about that too.