For as long as I can remember I have always been able to articulate my words much better through written form. I have never been a great public speaker, I still get nauseous and dizzy at the idea of having to speak in front of people. Writing has always come natural to me. It was always an art form I felt most myself in and has been something I have been doing since I could spell and make coherent sentences. My aspirations for my career were writing based. I had dreams of becoming a journalist but reality served me a swift kick in the pants and brought me to the realization that college wasn’t for me and more importantly that writing wasn’t going to pay the bills I needed to be paid to achieve my bigger dreams of becoming a wife and a mother. It was a harsh reality to face but I had the alternative in my grasp. Creative writing was something I never lost touch with and it served more as a hobby than a life decision which leads me to this horrendous novel process.

For the last eight years I have participated in the literary outlet of roleplaying. For those of you who don’t know what this is, I will explain it to you. The roleplaying I partake is the kind in which a writer either creates a character of their own original works to portray or portrays a character from history, a TV show, movie, play, etc.  I chose to create my own character and have been granted largely eight years’ worth of material that I would like to eventually create a novel from. The hard part is the creative process. It is easy to write a story for me however knowingly writing a novel seems like the most daunting task I could ever take on. To me writing a novel in like climbing a mountain, if you are ill equipped some sort of injury is likely. I fear that I am ill equipped to write such large works and would be foolish to push my words into book form and self-publish like so many have been rooting me on to do.

By no means, am I asking for any kind of pity or kind words. I know this is an internal battle in which I have to fight by my lonesome and basically toss my doubts out of my head and just do it. However, I am asking for any kind of advice. To those of you whom have dabbled with this mountainous task I seek your wisdom. How did you begin? How did you keep track of your ever wandering thoughts? Did you self-publish or were you brave enough to send it to a professional company? I look to you as a trusted audience and I am hopeful to find some answers or at least be pointed in a direction where my lack of courage doesn’t feel so debilitating.

November is National Novel Writer Month and I hope to be an active participant. Wish me luck!